Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Well, I guess any day really is. But today is the first day that all four of my children are in full day school all day. My last chick has left the nest…for the day anyway. It is the end of an era.
I have one in high school.
And, one in middle school. (Picture was taken in the wee hours of the morning and my flash is broken.)
And, two in elementary. One is in 4th grade.
And, my youngest is starting 1st grade and this morning rode the public school bus for the first time.
For 14 years I have been primarily a stay at home mom. Before I was a mom and even a wife, I was a “design consultant” at a high-end furniture store. And after that I shifted into the career of an art teacher at a private prep school in Maryland, after some on-the-side substitute teaching. They were all jobs I enjoyed. But honestly nothing I was hugely passionate about. I was and always have been passionate about being a stay at home mom. At the time I made my “leap of faith” to stay home my husband and I did not have really even enough money to make that decision. In fact, we figured out that me staying home was going to bring us a significant monthly deficit. If I was going to stay home…we were going to go into debt. I remember clearly the feeling of making that decision on the eve of the night before I had to sign my teaching contract for the next year. With a pit of, I will admit it, angst and fear of the unknown, I decided to stay at home with my son and soon-to-be daughter, because that is what I truly wanted for me and my family. As we made that decision together, my husband was committed to helping me follow my dreams knowing together we’d figure out a way to make it work. And, honestly the math didn’t add up. However, by the end of the year my husband had a new job and we had bought our first house.
Now, of course I don’t advocate necessarily going into debt. But pursuing one’s passions is something I strongly believe in. I do believe there are at time real risks to making life decisions one believes in. Sometimes, they are imagined. Will I be good enough? Can I do it? Sometimes they are real. As in, can I pay the rent and buy food? I also believe that when you do (take those risks)…things will work out in the end. Sometimes that takes a little denial of those risks and a little faith!
If you really believe in something, have a dream, or want to pursue something…then you should go for it. Because, that is where you will find your adventure and passion in life. Kristin and I have always felt strongly about pursuing one’s passions. To us, this blog is an undercurrent of that theme. On that hot summer day at the Golden West Cafe, when we had our “light-bulb moment” we knew that we wanted a little something creative to pursue for ourselves. And, we knew it wasn’t going to be easy…what with our full-time-job-of-mom’s-of-9-kids career. But we’re glad we started out on this adventure, even though at time it stretches us a little bit thin.
And, hopefully and maybe, it is even setting for “them” an example…
So, that sometime “they” will walk into their life and passions and take a risk for their dreams with out even looking back!
My decision to stay at home was not an easy one either. I wasn’t tenured so I had to make the decision to stay or resign…but my daughter had some health issues and the doctors knew daycare would be hard on her immune system. I felt the decision had been made for me and that was the path God was choosing for our family. I am on year two of not returning to the classroom and there are days when I miss working outside the home, and days when I am so humbled to be home with my two growing-up-too-fast kids. I will tell you one thing though…these are the days I really do miss as a teacher-meeting the kids at back to school night, first week of school…those are the best times! I am sure your kids had a great first day back, but I am dying to know, what did you to with ‘your’ day?
Love this post. It was so hard for me to walk away from a fulfilling career, and took me about 6 months to adjust, but now can’t imagine being anywhere else. I’m glad to know that you’re able to find (or at least “look for”
you once again. I still struggle with that sometimes.
chris ann, this is so great! you are such a beautiful mother. they are so so so lucky!
so… like, what are you going to do about your big dreams now that you have all 4 in school all day? i imagine for myself what i might do when that day comes… then i get scared that i will just not do anything new and great, because… i won’t!
angie