You know how some days your mind wanders back to what use to be? Some days I find myself, as I know Chris Ann often does, thinking back to the days we were in the same neighborhood, in the same city. We sometimes wonder how our friendship became so strong and precious. We have traveled the world together, to places like Italy and Mexico. We have shared gourmet meals and attended inspiring events together. But, I think our friendship became what it is today because we have stood in life’s mud puddles together.
You see, when we lived in the same hood in Baltimore, we each had four kids under the age of 9. Those were the sleep deprived days of two young moms who were trying to figure out this whole parenting thing. We were in that stage of “mom fog” where, in all honesty, some days were just a blur and all about survival. We were learning how to discipline, how to get our kids to eat healthy, what we would let them watch or not watch, how to navigate play dates…you name it. We shared tips with one another as well as failures. There were weeks we called “batten down the hatches” weeks…(actually, I think we called them army-drill camp week, yikes!) where that was code for, “I’m going off the grid to draw firm boundaries so I can reign in the behavior that has gotten off track.” We knew what that meant.
There were days we’d pass each other in the morning in our respective Windstar mini vans…her’s was periwinkle blue, mine was silver…and wave to each other knowing full well we were both enjoying the silence of sleeping babies in the car. It was a our coffee drive time.
I remember after we had attended a John Rosemond parenting conference, lights went off for both of us. We discovered natural consequences and creative parenting. Since creative is our middle names, we incorporated this quickly and couldn’t wait to share what we had discovered. We discovered a new way of discipline that would keep our kids on their toes and us from losing our minds.
There was also the time when my husband had been unemployed for 5 months. We couldn’t pay our mortgage let alone buy groceries. Chris Ann was solo-parenting while her husband traveled for his job. Chris Ann would come over in the afternoon with a bag of food, under the guise of, “Todd’s out of town. Would you make me and my kids dinner? I’m too overwhelmed.” Maybe it wasn’t a front. She was feeding our family, just as we were feeding hers. Neither of us could fix the situation the other was in, but we could get in the mud puddle together.
We became mud puddle friends. We would change each other’s kid’s diapers, wash each other’s dishes, babysit with a last minute phone call, rip up carpet on whim and listen with open ears when the other had nothing left to do but cry. We stood in that mud puddle and were willing to get dirty for the sake of the other.
Long gone are the day-to-day mud puddle moments. Now that we live in different cities, I look back and miss those days. I’m not even sure we appreciated them for what they were. But, we do now. We invested hard core, for years. Now, we treasure the moments we do get together. They may seem a bit luxurious and like vacation whenever we are together, but I think our friendship has earned these moments.
(We’re in this journey for the long haul.)
Do you have a mud puddle friend? We’d love to hear your story.
I do! Whether I have an emergency dental situation or more produce than I can use before it expires, the first person I always call is Noemi. It’s incredibly convenient that our kids are the same ages (thank you God!), and that she totally gets where I am in life. I am blessed to have a friend like that in my life, and am so glad you two have had each other as well!
really, really like this!
totally in tears – so blessed to know you both & I’d jump right in that mud puddle with you! Great reminder not to take friendships for granted and also to not be afraid to kneel down in the dirt with someone in need.
I love this post. So beautiful. Two mud puddle friends kept coming to mind as I was reading, and we now live hours and states apart…I’m so missing them right now. This was a great reminder to get in touch with them again.
Every time y’all talk about your friendship, I tear up. #RTL
I so love this… The two mud puddle friends… how perceptive and touching!
I read this out loud to my daughter last night and she started to cry. Friendships are important to us girls no matter what stage of life we are in.
~Kristin
You are blessed. A friendship like yours is a gift from God! Enjoyed the post. Miss you guys, hope to see you soon.
My friend Lindsi is the first person that came to mind when I read this post. We’ve been through so much together and continue through some of those things together. We talk on a daily (or more) basis. We only live 40 minutes from each other but rarely get together (don’t know why). Just being on the other end of the phone is sometimes good enough!
I have TWO!
Brianna and Jamie (above).
Brie and I have been friends since we were 16. We have never lived in the same state and only see each other once a year (at most). We have been through a lot together and I am blessed to have her in my life.
Jamie and I have been friends for 6 or 7 years now. We used to work together so we saw each other more often, now we rarely see each other but we talk on the phone all the time. I think we actually go through a withdraw when we go more than a few days without speaking.
Both of these ladies are important to me and I can’t imagine getting through life without them!
Love this post! I had a close-by mudpuddle friend when my kids were younger, but have moved away from her. She and I shared so much. We had got married and had our babies around the same time. We talked daily about what our kids were doing. We, too, found that John Rosemond changed our perspective about parenting. She brought me diapers when we couldn’t afford them. She listened and cried with me through the dissolving of my marriage. She helped me pack when the moving truck was coming the next day and I wasn’t ready. I, too, miss those times but treasure her friendship, though we don’t see each other much. Mudpuddle friends are the best. Blessed and happy for you two. Thank you for sharing.
Oh this post is so lovely and hits so close to home. Moving so frequently, strong friendships are a must when I am traveling. I have a few strong relationships like this around the country, and I am eternally grateful for those. I know it can make visiting each other that much more fun though as well! Shell and I need to visit, why not in Nashville or in Kentucky?
Thanks for sharing!